Dear Daddy

(Note: this story switches between two narrative styles; a child writing a letter and a mother going through life. They will be separated using --------- .)


Dear Daddy,
     I found Mommy hanging from the roof today. Her note said she couldn’t take the change anymore, but I don’t know what she’s talking about.

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“What do you mean they’re suing us?” The woman stood yelling at her lawyer as she was presented the news.

“I’m sorry Mai, but people want more than what they got. They want more people to suffer like they did.” The lawyer tried to soften the blow, but he knew better. People wanted people, and now the family had to suffer.

“But I didn’t know what was going on! I didn’t know!” All Mai could do was repeat her screams over and over again. The screams pierced through the door and into the hallway where the passersby stopped to hear them. It wasn’t long before the screams became cries.

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Things have been like since you left, and that was a long, long ago. I caught Grandma saying that she had it coming because of what happened, but she won’t tell me what that is. I don’t understand what she’s talking about, but I socked her just you taught me! You said that I have to look after Mommy, but now that she’s gone I’m still going to do it. I love you that much Daddy! I’m going to hurt people for you and Mommy now and forever!

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“Mother! Why didn’t you tell them that I was here?” Mai looked at her mother with despair in her eyes, “Do have any idea what they did? What they said?” Mai had trapped her mother in a corner as she moaned her questions.

“It was going on for a year Mai. A year! How could you not have now? I told you not to marry him, and now look! You’re protecting that-that thing!” Mia’s mother pushed her aside and continued cooking. Mai looked at her and began to shake.

“You don’t believe me either; my own mother.” Mai headed for the door when she turned and spoke one last thing;

     “You’re never going to have my baby.”

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But Grandma doesn’t matter anymore. You’re mommy came and picked me up with your daddy and some of his friends that asked me a bunch of questions. They were really mad with Grandma, and they took her away. They said that Grandma was being really mean to me and Mommy, so she had to go away. I didn’t mind through; Grandma was really mean to Mommy in the last few days. New Grandma said Old Grandma was the one who hurt Mommy and made her write that note, like they did in those cop shows. New Grandma said me and Mommy were the best thing to happen to you, so we were very special to the family.

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Mia sat in the living room with her in-laws. Her daughter May was asleep on the one-piece, kicking and talking to someone in her dreams. She could never really get use to how to smelt of coffee and hopelessness. Her father-in-law went through the papers one last time.

“You know Mia, me and the boys haven’t been fair since it happened. I’ve said some things that my mom would rightly beat me for if she heard them, but you’re not the only one trying to sallow this pill. He’s my son Mia; my little man. Every soccer games; every report card; every first date; I was there. But I forgot that I didn’t just have a son. I have a daughter now, and my daughter gave me a princess that’s gonna grow up in this shadow.” He pointed to May as he placed the papers down on the coffee table, “She’s going to need all the help she can get, and I should have been helping you too.” With that, Mia watched her father-in-law sign the documents. He tried to say something, but nothing came out. All he could do was leave the room and slip into the darkness of the house.

“I’m never going to forget this.” Mia looked at the papers and started to cry. The weight of their mere existent meant that May could have a future away from this. May would be free from the pain that her mother would have to face. Mia’s mother-in-law went and held her as Mia lost herself in her emotions.

“Being a mother is the hardest thing a woman can do to herself.” Mia felt her head being stroked as her mother-in-law tightened her hold, “No matter what we do, it will always be thankless and a battle. We give it our all and nothing seems to be good enough. If they don’t run out just right then we blame ourselves, saying that we ruined our little babies. We beat ourselves up and go over and over on how we could have done better. Yet during the whole thing we know, we know, that there was nothing we could have done about it. Even after all of that, we still drag ourselves through the mud. But we need to let that go and understand that our little babies are people; people that change and that help to mold themselves.” The two women just sat there and held each other as life passed by them.

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New Grandma says I’m not old enough to know what happened, but she’s says it won’t matter. She says what happen was a good thing, but no one wants to believe that. She says it ended up helping Mommy, and that New Grandpa was going to help her now too. I’m going to help too Daddy, so Mommy can look down and be happy. And so when I get to see you again, you’ll be happy too.

Love,
                May   (your May-baby)